Nah man, I feel you. I've had similar issues distrusting God because of my dad. Mine though, while abusive, was about as passive-aggressive as you can get (and had no idea he was even being abusive), so my problems tend to be more subtle; I have a lot of anxiety/fear issues due to never really knowing where the line is, thus always fearing getting in trouble for no discernible reason. I am ever thankful that while my dad basically represented the law aspect of God, my mom was a very good example of the love aspect. I'd be way more messed up if she hadn't been there. Even still, it's taken many years, a lot of medication, and counseling to come anywhere close to what most people consider normal.

Needless to say I have mixed feelings toward God, though many of us do. I know he's always there, I know he works for our ultimate good, and that all he promised is true, but I end up not trusting him to do so in a manner I'm comfortable with. I definitely more often expect the stick from him rather than the carrot. One thing my mom taught me when praying, which I've often found helpful, if only in my mind, is to ask him to be gentle with me. Do whatever he wants, just be gentle. It gives me a peace of mind, regardless of whether he chooses to do so or not.