I feel as if I'm being tested as of late. It's mostly over a handful of things, two really, but I'm getting the feeling that God is using this time to test my willingness to, you know, actually follow him. And darned if it isn't really hard to do so given the things he's asking of me.
One of said things is my game I got not too long ago. It can be a tad addictive at times, and I'd probably be playing it a bit more if, check that, a lot more, if he didn't keep cramming the thought of spending more time with him. Just this small voice that keeps telling me, don't play, spend that time with him. I don't get it every time, but still, it happens frequently enough, and I'm ashamed to admit that I'm only following it about half of the time. Like I said, it's addictive, sometimes in a very monotonous sort of way, but still.
The other point he seems to be making is in regards to my so called search for a woman, or girlfriend, or whatever. Since I found out that that Maria is single, I've been wanting to ask her out for coffee, or a movie, or something. But I know that his plans are the ones I should be following, and he keeps telling me patience, although if that means to Maria specifically, or girls in general I'm not entirely sure. I keep wanting to just email her (as I can't ever seem to actually talk to her in person and hence the wanting of coffee with her) and ask her to do something with me, and it's so unbelievably hard not to. Sometimes it makes more sense to think of patience in terms of longsuffering. Boy is it ever. Le sigh.
I'm sure there are other things, but these two are the loudest and the most noticeable in affecting my day to day thoughts and actions.
I'm tired.
