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It always perplexes me somewhat when people get depressed or down, or whatever, when they think God isn't listening to them. It happens to everyone at one point or another. I guess what always kind of makes me scratch my head is that people think he isn't listening. God always listens to us, to what we say and what we pray for, and when he doesn't seem to be there, that's when it counts the most that we believe in him and follow him. I don't think I often have that problem. Although my problems are no less pressing or causing of distress on my part.
My problem, as I see it anyway, is not that God isn't listening to all the things I ask for, so much as he just keeps saying no. Same result really, although it can almost be harder this way. For those who think he isn't listening, there's the thought that maybe if we could just get his attention again, he'll just up and give us whatever we think we need. In my case, it's almost harder in some ways because I know that he keeps saying no because it's for my good in the end. Knowing that he could, in the blink of an eye, give me the thing that I ask for and a hundred times more and better because he's intimately involved in everything I do, it's almost taunting. Sometimes getting what I need really isn't anything like what I think I need, or want, and it can be aggravating.
And so what if it is going to be for my best? I know it is, but that still doesn't make it any easier for me. There are times when I just don't know how much more longsuffering I can handle. What makes it worse is, I honestly don't know what he wants me to be doing. I don't know exactly what attitude I should be taking with my life, and the occasional hints that seem to find their way to me, I'm not sure how do it. I keep hearing in my head that I should be loving others, but that's hard in of itself simply because I like never am around people. How am I supposed to give myself to others without any others around? And how can I possibly make myself get up to go and find people? Making rocking in the fetal position for a while will help some...
My problem, as I see it anyway, is not that God isn't listening to all the things I ask for, so much as he just keeps saying no. Same result really, although it can almost be harder this way. For those who think he isn't listening, there's the thought that maybe if we could just get his attention again, he'll just up and give us whatever we think we need. In my case, it's almost harder in some ways because I know that he keeps saying no because it's for my good in the end. Knowing that he could, in the blink of an eye, give me the thing that I ask for and a hundred times more and better because he's intimately involved in everything I do, it's almost taunting. Sometimes getting what I need really isn't anything like what I think I need, or want, and it can be aggravating.
And so what if it is going to be for my best? I know it is, but that still doesn't make it any easier for me. There are times when I just don't know how much more longsuffering I can handle. What makes it worse is, I honestly don't know what he wants me to be doing. I don't know exactly what attitude I should be taking with my life, and the occasional hints that seem to find their way to me, I'm not sure how do it. I keep hearing in my head that I should be loving others, but that's hard in of itself simply because I like never am around people. How am I supposed to give myself to others without any others around? And how can I possibly make myself get up to go and find people? Making rocking in the fetal position for a while will help some...
