Heck if I know.

Forevermore, I say,
as my eyes glaze over and the distant cacaphony fades,
there is nothing more I can do, but God I wish it wasn't so.
My senses flair with hope, at an errant noise unending,
and sadly constrained, realize the error made and belatedly sigh.
What shall it take, to come through these straits,
without a fatal blow to the whole of me, that shall be
more painful than any other I have known.
My fading sight is not enough, to hide the secrets I so wish;
so on I go, with blankened face and open ears, to face the face
that mocks me ever thusly, and wallow in sorrow yet again.
My blood runs cold, as my thoughts turn away from me,
and race about in a frenzied dance alone without my say.