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The frightfulness of life.
Aug. 16th, 2004 11:21 pmYou know, I once read somewhere that escapes me as so many other things in my life tend to do, how people can all have great deals of stress even when they do not work or live in high stress situations. People can have just as much stress living an average, boring even, life as they can running some huge company. So basically, this is me trying to make my problems seem more important than they are by saying it can cause as much stress. I can stress with the best of them too. I haven't the foggiest who the hell "they" are, but I'm sure they're very good at stressing. They tend to know everything, and that's got to be stressful if you're anyone but God.
Excuses aside, I'm rather nervous and panicked about school starting next monday. Not so much about the actual starting of and going to school, although that's mostly because I haven't been thinking about it, and as I do now, a wee bit o' panic is beginning to sink in as well. As I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself, as I seem to be doing now too, it is, as all matters tend to be, a matter of money. As in, after grants and whatever else I'm getting, I'm still a bit short for college. Even more disturbing for me, I knew pretty much at the beginning of the summer. Which was why I've been trying to get a job. But I flopped. Between no jobs available when I tried, and the fact that I pretty much gave up after a while, I have no job with which to acquire said money. I know my parents will foot the bill, but I really don't want them to have to. I know at this particular time that money is somewhat tight, and I hate making things worse for them. So, sometime this week I must call up whichever office handles work study and beg desperately, between panicked breaths caused by having to actually call someone and talk to them, for something I can do before or after classes to make some money, while still leaving me enough time to do all the homework that a computer science class, two maths, and a physics, is bound to bring.
I think I want to go hide under my bed now, or since I can't fit, under my covers.
Excuses aside, I'm rather nervous and panicked about school starting next monday. Not so much about the actual starting of and going to school, although that's mostly because I haven't been thinking about it, and as I do now, a wee bit o' panic is beginning to sink in as well. As I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself, as I seem to be doing now too, it is, as all matters tend to be, a matter of money. As in, after grants and whatever else I'm getting, I'm still a bit short for college. Even more disturbing for me, I knew pretty much at the beginning of the summer. Which was why I've been trying to get a job. But I flopped. Between no jobs available when I tried, and the fact that I pretty much gave up after a while, I have no job with which to acquire said money. I know my parents will foot the bill, but I really don't want them to have to. I know at this particular time that money is somewhat tight, and I hate making things worse for them. So, sometime this week I must call up whichever office handles work study and beg desperately, between panicked breaths caused by having to actually call someone and talk to them, for something I can do before or after classes to make some money, while still leaving me enough time to do all the homework that a computer science class, two maths, and a physics, is bound to bring.
I think I want to go hide under my bed now, or since I can't fit, under my covers.
