Bwah!

I found an excellent list of funny quotes, and thought I'd share a few.

" 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business Reply Mail Envelope.
4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold in your hand.
5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away whistling. I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents."

"Personally, I like my women like whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke..."

"[paRaLyX] what's long, hard and fucked two girls from my science class last week?
[Slax0r] omg...
[qwog] you didn't!
[paRaLyX] the mid-term physics exam :("

"You can't spell manslaughter without laughter!"

"I'll be the first to admit that being gay makes a lot of sense, given that all women are whiny bitches, while just the vast majority of men are fuckwads."

"One day I sat thinking, almost in despair; a hand fell on my shoulder and a voice said reassuringly: "Cheer up, things could get worse." So I cheered up and, sure enough, things got worse."
-- James Haggerty

"If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare in Braille."

Quandery

What exactly drives a person to cut hair for a living? I'm not saying it's bad thing, but I'm not all that clear on why people would want to do such a thing. I got a haircut today, and while it was being all chopped off, it made me think about what would give people the drive to do such a thing. I think all that hair all over my hands and such would drive me absolutely crazy, plus, I would think it would get rather monotonous. Still, I have to think that they get paid pretty well. They never lack for customers, and they charge well enough.

I like getting my hair cut. I think it's because I like the change. Although, today I had an extra special bonus in that my cutter was quite the fetching young woman. She smelled nicely of strawberry too, and not that cloyingly sweet fake strawberry either. The better kind of fake. :P My only complaint is that I always take off my glasses so they can cut my hair, so I couldn't really see all that much of her. Or my hair, for that matter. All I can ever see of my hair is a brownish blob.