Ten Word Stories

Last week, the guys down at Penny Arcade decided to hold a nifty little contest involving ten word stories. As they put it:

you must write a short story, set in World of Warcraft, and this story must be precisely ten words long. [...] This contest is easy and fun. At least, for me! But Gabriel has told me that I cannot win, so you've got a shot. Something along these lines, maybe:

His father's sword, shattered to the hilt, fell like stars.

It doesn't have to be especially epic, it merely needs to ring true. For example:

"Help," he cried. "My dick is stuck in this Treant!"

See what I mean? It paints a picture. You know everything you need to know about the dick and the Treant.


Naturally, I leapt at the challenge...from my chair, which involved little to no actual movement. Anyway, as I was attempting to write my entry ("Damned Rogues!" he fitfully cursed. "I should have rolled one."), I realized just how potent and fun such a challenge can be; and for any subject.

Basically, I want to try to write a bunch of 'em, and not just for World of Warcraft. And feel free to write some of your own as well, be it here or wherever.

Ten Words, take one.

Note, these are going to be a hodge podge of topics, subjects and the like.

"I've got nothing," he dejectedly sighed. "Where are my kudos?" (Alternatively, "Where my bitches at?", "Where are my pants?", or "Where are my nipples?")

"Lana? I have a secret, but I can't tell you."

Murlocs ate your family? Do you want the undigested remains?

What do you mean, "out of mana"?! I'm dying here!

No, I will not, "giv u teh golds"; shut up.

I'd be a fool not to buy Rogue insurance! Wait...

Mostly free portal to Ironforge! Probability of splinching relatively small!

Clark is Superman on Smallville? Duh! He doesn't wear glasses!

I could really go for some pudding. What? Out?! Noooo!

Toxicity

I don't know how many people have heard of Yael Naim. I know I haven't. Or hadn't, rather, until just the other day. Though I'm sure we've all heard her song for the apple commercials, the New Soul one. Well, I was reading a magazine article about this up and comer, and it said she did a rather interesting version of Britney's Toxic, so I gave it a look. I'd recommend you all do the same. It's quite a unique version, and I would rank it right up there with miss Molly's version.

Also, would add or subtract from my (geek, manly, etc.) street cred to admit that I liked the original version? And does that detract from my liking the other versions? Are these rhetorical questions? Does answering no still keep them rhetorical if they are?

In the words of Dr. Seuss, he puzzled and puzzled, till his puzzler was sore.

Ten Words, part deux of, ...uh, no idea.

"Posting too much, you say?" he asked inquiringly, "Why, yes."

Potions for sale. Will cost only your health to acquire.

"This troll's blood is delicious!" he exclaimed, "but needs salt."

One day, Pinocchio became a real boy, starving them both.

Then they all burst into song, ignoring the oncoming traffic.

"Woe!" he cried, "my dog is dead, but not I!"

For whom tolls the bell? I think it's that guy.

In that instant, all was still, and all calm again.

Shining down, the sun glaring, hitting his eyes, he tripped.

How the hell did a spider have a sword?! Magic!

It was not I! I ate only one child today!

Writhing in agony, cursing the drink...but mostly the concussion.

In splendid colors flowers bloom, my allergies aflame with joy...

He spent his nights alone, killing spiders for the silk.

His soul shattered, adrift on the wind, see him weep.

Soul stone long gone, he flees like a little girl.

His oiled beard glistens in the wind, distracting from baldness.

"Preposterous," he huffs, "there's no such thing as a dragon!"