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Attraction
Dec. 1st, 2012 12:25 amI've been thinking much this evening on the subject of attraction. Specifically, I've been thinking on it in regard to having a crush on a person. I've recently been smitten by a new tv crush, so she's been on my mind a bit. After some thought, I realized that it's much the same with tv people as it is with any pretty girl I might find myself interested in; in regard to the actual attraction, anyway. It's weird how easily a new attraction can cause a kind of temporary fanaticism in a mind. Even more bizarre, to my thinking anyway, is that I can be fully aware of the silliness of crushing on someone, be it on the tv or in person, yet still have the emotion/thought/etc. Granted, emotions are rarely exactly in line with our thoughts, but still.
Having done both, I'm really not sure if being attracted to a person in, well, person versus the tv/internet land is any better, or worse. With celebrity crushes, we get much more frequent access to seeing them, reading their tweets and interviews, and whatever else we feel like. In one sense, we get to pine after a person without any real fear of rejection, and can get our fill of them without awkwardness, as it were. There's near zero chance most of us will ever get to see such people in real life, much less even meet them, which can be both good and bad. On the other hand, pining after a person nearby has it's own positives and negatives. The positive being that the possibility exists of actually talking to, getting to know, even asking out, said person. The downside, of course, is the possibility of rejection; not to mention that any sort of stalkerish behavior we may be inclined toward, however little, becomes that much easier to engage in, along with the chance of getting busted doing so.
When we're attracted to a person, it's easy to make little changes to schedule, or even the route you take every day, in order to close the distance to the person. I can remember one semester in high school where I would walk a whole floor out of my way in the off-chance of briefly seeing or talking to a girl I knew and liked. It's amazing how much we go out of our way for just a chance, and without really thinking about how weird it is at the time. Romeo and Juliet would be a hell of a lot creepier if only one of them felt the way they did. Sometimes it seems the only difference between being stalkerish and cute is reciprocity. I'm not really willing to test that theory, though...
What really made me think about this was when I realized that I was, be it ever so slightly, starting to create scenarios in my head of how it could play out that I could somehow meet this girl, what we could talk about, and how we could strike up a friendship, blah blah blah. It's funny how so many of us nurture that thought in the back of our minds that maybe if we could just get such and such person alone for a bit, we could somehow instantly become best of friends. I've had much the same thoughts in regard to celebrities I happen to be crushing on as I have for girls I've met or seen in person. The odd thing is that don't think the former are any more fantastical than the latter.
Of course, I also happen to be in a period of having moved to a new place, not knowing anyone, having barely met anyone, and not knowing where to go. Needless to say, I am very much lonely, so it does not surprise me that with such lack of friends I would instinctively try to fill the void with whatever lovely girl happens to strike my fancy, particularly one I can easily pull up on tv or youtube and watch. What surprises me is how I can know so much, and know how silly it all is, yet find myself still doing it. I still pine, I still tweet/etc., foolishly hoping that it will somehow stand out among all the other and spark a conversation and... It's always weird when one finds tretchory. It is no less so to discover it in one's self.
Having done both, I'm really not sure if being attracted to a person in, well, person versus the tv/internet land is any better, or worse. With celebrity crushes, we get much more frequent access to seeing them, reading their tweets and interviews, and whatever else we feel like. In one sense, we get to pine after a person without any real fear of rejection, and can get our fill of them without awkwardness, as it were. There's near zero chance most of us will ever get to see such people in real life, much less even meet them, which can be both good and bad. On the other hand, pining after a person nearby has it's own positives and negatives. The positive being that the possibility exists of actually talking to, getting to know, even asking out, said person. The downside, of course, is the possibility of rejection; not to mention that any sort of stalkerish behavior we may be inclined toward, however little, becomes that much easier to engage in, along with the chance of getting busted doing so.
When we're attracted to a person, it's easy to make little changes to schedule, or even the route you take every day, in order to close the distance to the person. I can remember one semester in high school where I would walk a whole floor out of my way in the off-chance of briefly seeing or talking to a girl I knew and liked. It's amazing how much we go out of our way for just a chance, and without really thinking about how weird it is at the time. Romeo and Juliet would be a hell of a lot creepier if only one of them felt the way they did. Sometimes it seems the only difference between being stalkerish and cute is reciprocity. I'm not really willing to test that theory, though...
What really made me think about this was when I realized that I was, be it ever so slightly, starting to create scenarios in my head of how it could play out that I could somehow meet this girl, what we could talk about, and how we could strike up a friendship, blah blah blah. It's funny how so many of us nurture that thought in the back of our minds that maybe if we could just get such and such person alone for a bit, we could somehow instantly become best of friends. I've had much the same thoughts in regard to celebrities I happen to be crushing on as I have for girls I've met or seen in person. The odd thing is that don't think the former are any more fantastical than the latter.
Of course, I also happen to be in a period of having moved to a new place, not knowing anyone, having barely met anyone, and not knowing where to go. Needless to say, I am very much lonely, so it does not surprise me that with such lack of friends I would instinctively try to fill the void with whatever lovely girl happens to strike my fancy, particularly one I can easily pull up on tv or youtube and watch. What surprises me is how I can know so much, and know how silly it all is, yet find myself still doing it. I still pine, I still tweet/etc., foolishly hoping that it will somehow stand out among all the other and spark a conversation and... It's always weird when one finds tretchory. It is no less so to discover it in one's self.
