Jul. 28th, 2019

kryptonitemonkey: (Default)
I almost quit my job today. There were a few minutes there where I was seriously weighing my options and considering either walking out right there, or giving my two weeks. First we have months of almost no work, where I had to spend what little there was on the phones, and now we are slammed with work and the pressure and stress is through the roof. I went from like 10-15 hours a week to pulling overtime almost every single day this week. So not only do I have no money until the next paycheck, which will admittedly be huge, but I'm worn out and being beaten down. My problems have been made exponentially worse by the fact that several of the jobs we're running have been absolute nightmares. Everyone from the top down is breathing down the necks of their subordinates, micromanaging, and demanding a perfection and impossible magic bullshit that would be tough to swallow if I were making $5 more an hour. I make $1.25 more than minimum wage, which is admittedly high in Cali, but I've been here for 4 years.

I live paycheck to paycheck, and I don't even care about my job anymore. Which makes things worse, because I don't care enough to be hyper vigilant, which is required, apparently. I don't do a terrible job, but even doing it for years now, I have wrong instincts. I feel like I have good ideas, and creative solutions, but which are geared toward some other job. At this one, they tell me to be proactive, but every single time I do, I don't go the way they wanted, and I often get smacked down. Things are done a certain way, until they randomly aren't, but my attempts to improve things are either too early, or not how we "work". This job is soul-crushing and every attempt I make to make it better, or at least more bearable, are discouraged. I worked a 10 hour day multiple times this week, and most without the ability to even take an f'ing lunch. We literally have no one to cover for most supervisors. At best, I can sometimes run down a few doors to the dollar tree to get snacks, or unhealthy frozen meals, then eat at my desk, but not always.

I hate my job, and it all came to a head about an hour or two in this morning, after my boss kept haranguing me about what I did or didn't do, even though I wasn't slacking. Call me on my shit, but not on things we can't change. Needless to say, I forced myself to put in a résumé at a local tech company before bed tonight (and this), despite being utterly exhausted and not being mentally in a great place to think about anything, much less work stuff. End rant...for now.

Me!

kryptonitemonkey: (Default)
Kryptonite Monkey

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