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Nov. 12th, 2019 01:36 amI feel like a broken record. I just keep skipping. I hate my job so much, but it leaves me so emotionally drained that I can never work up the energy to find something else. I don't even get two days off in a row. I get two days off, but not together, and while I used to enjoy the short reprieve in the middle of the week, now I find that it's just barely keeping me going without really giving me the break I need to recharge the batteries. Days like today, I feel like when you're running down a hill, and you're trying very hard not to eat it, but every movement is about catching up. It certainly does not help matters any that the job market in this town is notoriously poor. Unless you want to work retail or restaurant, there's not really much available. And as much as I would hate it, those options are starting to look more appealing than this position. I have worked here for three years, am a supervisor of sorts, and I make 25 cents less than my buddy who just started work at Best Buy. Do you know how demoralizing that is?
What's worse, my attention to detail is slipping somewhat at the work I do because I beyond don't care. I hate everything about my company. One of my fellow supervisors didn't used to drink until he became the second in command, and now he drinks rather heavily. We do surveys! It should not destroy people and should not be as stressful as it is. I have just enough energy to get angry, but not enough to act on it, and I just don't know what to do. I'm feeling a touch of despair this evening, I think. This too shall pass, as they say, but it still sucks now. My singular days off are almost entirely dedicated to sleep and trying to de-stress. My every work day is so unregimented that I can never schedule anything. On a given day, maybe I'll work 4-5 hours, or maybe I'll work 10, usually without a chance of taking an actual (legally mandated) lunch, getting off at 11pm and completely wiped and unable to go do anything at all.
I hate it, I hate it, I really, really hate it. And I don't know how to fix it. The job is so all over the place that I don't ever have any sort of savings. Grumble.
What's worse, my attention to detail is slipping somewhat at the work I do because I beyond don't care. I hate everything about my company. One of my fellow supervisors didn't used to drink until he became the second in command, and now he drinks rather heavily. We do surveys! It should not destroy people and should not be as stressful as it is. I have just enough energy to get angry, but not enough to act on it, and I just don't know what to do. I'm feeling a touch of despair this evening, I think. This too shall pass, as they say, but it still sucks now. My singular days off are almost entirely dedicated to sleep and trying to de-stress. My every work day is so unregimented that I can never schedule anything. On a given day, maybe I'll work 4-5 hours, or maybe I'll work 10, usually without a chance of taking an actual (legally mandated) lunch, getting off at 11pm and completely wiped and unable to go do anything at all.
I hate it, I hate it, I really, really hate it. And I don't know how to fix it. The job is so all over the place that I don't ever have any sort of savings. Grumble.
