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You know, it's kind of a funny thing, the way I use my journal. It's the one place that I can relatively put my thoughts of things out there without too much condescension or mockery, etc. I can speak of absolutely anything that I want to, and when I need help, people usually respond. And when I have something I'd rather not tell anyone else, I can simply lock it for personal use, like a real journal somewhat. But the thing is, I don't. I have never once, in the year+ that I have had this thing, ever used a lock of any kind on any entry. For a long time, I've simply thought that I've not especially been ashamed of anything that I've had to say, and that I could either simply say whatever, or if it were too much, I just wouldn't say it anywhere. I guess I still do, really. But I've noticed with passing time that more and more, there are really two things that I ever have/care to speak about, mainly boring everyday school stuff, and anything that fits in the realm of my belief.
I guess the thing is that I've been pretty silent about anything that falls into the realm of the latter. And the more I keep growing in my faith, the more encompassing it becomes into all parts of my life. So, perhaps ironically, I end up saying nothing, when perhaps I should be saying more. Or perhaps my speaking less and less is exactly what I should be doing. Either way though, it's like I am making my lj into an almost personally pc crap sort of thing. Maybe I should simply stop caring what other people may say, and just say whatever the hell I feel like. With restraint of some level of course. I just don't know anymore. I'm not giving up on this thing, but I definitely need to to ponder on the whole thing more. Maybe go back and read what I used to write in here. I used to write some pretty cool poems. It's a shame that that particular flame went out for the time being.
"An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."
"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."
I guess the thing is that I've been pretty silent about anything that falls into the realm of the latter. And the more I keep growing in my faith, the more encompassing it becomes into all parts of my life. So, perhaps ironically, I end up saying nothing, when perhaps I should be saying more. Or perhaps my speaking less and less is exactly what I should be doing. Either way though, it's like I am making my lj into an almost personally pc crap sort of thing. Maybe I should simply stop caring what other people may say, and just say whatever the hell I feel like. With restraint of some level of course. I just don't know anymore. I'm not giving up on this thing, but I definitely need to to ponder on the whole thing more. Maybe go back and read what I used to write in here. I used to write some pretty cool poems. It's a shame that that particular flame went out for the time being.
"An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."
"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."
