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I'm feeling increasingly frustrated here. The cabin fever definitely isn't helping any, though it was thankfully mitigated briefly by the purchase of a game which has kept me from going entirely insane. But as the game comes to an end, so too does my reprieve. I find myself with extremely few options as to what to do with myself, and having my dad constantly looming over my shoulder is reaaaally not helping. I find myself sleeping a lot, and it's hard to determine how much is my recent increase in medication, which I know causes a lot of drowsiness at first, and how much is the result of boredom and trying to escape my problems. At least with medication causing tiredness I can legitimately sleep on my road to improvement. I have a few friends now, but they're not really able to hang out with, what with jobs and kids, so I'm absolutely starving for human interaction.
I think the hardest part is that when I first thought to get a job here and save up some money in order to move back to Redding and Bethel, I really felt God say not to look here. I've been looking in Redding, admittedly not a ton, but some, but what I find is a whole lot of depression. Do you know how hard it is to do what you're sure is right when it seems to defy normal logic? Ugh. It's funny too, because God has done this sort of thing with me several times now, but it's hard to have faith when time wears down on me and my dad is breathing down my neck to get a job. Thankfully mom is supportive, but still, how hard it is when nothing seems to be happening. Blarg.
I think the hardest part is that when I first thought to get a job here and save up some money in order to move back to Redding and Bethel, I really felt God say not to look here. I've been looking in Redding, admittedly not a ton, but some, but what I find is a whole lot of depression. Do you know how hard it is to do what you're sure is right when it seems to defy normal logic? Ugh. It's funny too, because God has done this sort of thing with me several times now, but it's hard to have faith when time wears down on me and my dad is breathing down my neck to get a job. Thankfully mom is supportive, but still, how hard it is when nothing seems to be happening. Blarg.
